Sure he thinks he’s handsome and he even believes that all ugliness (especially ugly people) should be eliminated. But would he do the unthinkable? Murder his neighbor just because she’s…well ugly? Do looks really matter that much?

The Ugly Truth

Am I crazy? Look at me. Could a crazy person look this beautiful? Absolutely not. Do you mind if I smoke? I know…I know it’s such a bad habit. But I get nervous when people stare at me…the way you’re doing now. Of course, I should be used to it. They are always staring at me. Eyes, eyes…big eyes, little eyes, red eyes, yellow eyes, eyes desiring me, eyes undressing me, eyes everywhere, staring, watching me. No escape, not even when I go to sleep. It’s enough to drive any man insane. Well, except for me; I’m not crazy. My only crime is being terribly good-looking.

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After learning that his wife is pregnant with their sixth child, Charlie puts his long awaited escape plan into action. But leaving his sassy wife, rambunctious kids and a mountain of debt behind may not be as simple as Charlie thinks.

The Great Cigarette Escape

Leaning against the post—the one with splinters like porcupine quills—Charlie stared at the fading sunset. He yearned for the day when he too could melt like fallen ice cream upon a warm sidewalk. If I were Houdini, thought Charlie, I would say a few magic words, tease the audience and puff, I’d be a happy, single man again—free—free of wife, free of kids, free of responsibilities I never wanted. But there were no magic words or a slick vanishing act that would free Charlie from being Charles Kennedy, husband, father and would-be escape artist.

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